


Break by Touch

by Howardson



Category: Six of Crows Series - Leigh Bardugo
Genre: Kaz has issues, PTSD, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, Some time after Crooked Kingdom
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-05
Updated: 2019-05-07
Packaged: 2020-02-26 01:24:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,102
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18713671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Howardson/pseuds/Howardson
Summary: Kaz gets overwhelmed and Jesper and Wyland are not helping.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Go easy on me.  
> Hope you enjoy!

 

The past week has not been the best days for Kaz Brekker. Jordie's death anniversary was coming and usually he would avoid the harbors, but business would not lie for weakness. Constant exposure to water and waste left Kaz in a fragile state. Exhausted with the week, Kaz only had one thing left to do this evening  

Kaz showed at the Van Eck house hold for casual business, which was a just an excuse for Wyland and Jesper to get Kaz to chill for a bit. His darker frame sitting on the couch next to Jesper talking shipping trades while Wyland got tea in the other room. 

Jesper had layed a hand on Kaz’s shoulder while talking of a merchant that hadn’t been aware who Jesper was and treated him like a child. The room froze for a moment in Kaz’s mind. The wait of his hand pressing on his coat. The warmth spreading, water rising. Then a breath, and the world became clear and the hand was gone as soon as it came. 

Kaz gripped his cane, a reflex Kaz had found himself doing when his sickness happened. Something that happens more when his gloves are off. Like they are now. He curses Inej, for whom he was trying to appease the next time he saw her.

Jesper continued to talk, not noticing Kaz’s falter. At the same time, Wyland walked in with a trey of tea. 

Thankful for a distraction, Kaz accepted the cup The ginger offered to him. As he reached out, his and Wylands fingers brushed and the world went black. The sound of glass breaking brought everyone to attention. Kaz blinked and watched as Jes and Wyland scrambled to clean the mess Kaz had made. Very stupidly made. 

While they were busy, Kaz took the time to rub his eyes and take a deep breath. Out of all the times, Kaz could not believe this is when he’s on a brink of an episode.

Cold stabbed at Kaz’s limbs and water climbed. Trying not to panic he listened hard to Wyland laughing at the broken cup, saying all was well. But everything began to slur at the water overtook his ears. Ghost touch was a nasty punishment as corpses float through the water, crowding his vision.

Abruptly, Kaz stood up. He couldn’t stay any longer. Couldn’t let them see him like this. Weak. Pathetic.  

Shouts of protest were vaguely herd during his hasty retreat to the front door. Not thinking too much, the wind hit his face. A brief though of where his scarf went and Kaz went out the door. 

The business district was fairly safe for Ketterdam so Kaz allowed himself to relax. If only a little bit. The Stad Watch was somewhat active here, little chance of a fight.

Breathing heavily through his nose was the only thing that was suspicious that Kaz let pass. Any sign of weakness was hidden, even if he wanted to scrunch his face and cover his ears and scream. 

Not thinking much, kaz let his feet walk into the Barrel, only then putting his guard up. Ever since he fully took over the Dregs, more people have been looking for fights. Only this time Kaz wasn’t sure if he would win. But this place had carried him to a life so Kaz could never picture giving up his place. If he has to fight than so be it. 

Luckily no one seemed up for a brawl tonight. Kaz sighed as layed his eyes on the Slat. By now the water has gone down enough for rational though, and he cleaned his tired expression as he walked him. Most people politely ignored him, some raised a beer and cheered and people would cheer some more. 

Kaz was safety to these people. These Barrel Rats he has given shelter to. A means to make money to eat and support their family. The Crows were a dangerous gang but also a low key charity. 

Wasting no time to hobble up the stairs to his bedroom, Kaz shut and locked the door. He leaned against the door and took a relived breath. It was quieter up here, but Kaz could still hear the comforting sound of people. Living people. Kaz tried to grip onto that fact. There were no corpses, only living people. Sliding to the floor trying to contain his shaking,  But having bottled up the past week and pushing more on top, it only left one option.

to break. And that’s what Kaz did. 


	2. Spill the tea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wyland and Jesper are worried so they gang up
> 
> In Wyland POV.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I started writing this like two days after the first and then BAM. I got really sick and couldn’t think properly to finish it. 
> 
> I analogies for any mistakes, still kinda out of it. 
> 
> But I’m a sucker for validation!

Watching Kaz run out of the mansion will always be the scariest thing Wyland has ever seen. He’s never seen that look on his face. Yes, he’s seen Kaz have to re-think a plan when it goes sideways, but he’s never outwardly  _scared_. that panicked look still makes his stomach curl. 

 

Jesper grabs Wylands hand as they make their way down the crowded streets. There was no way the couple weren’t going after Kaz. But there was no rush. They knew if anyone was that panicked, they would seek somewhere safe. So it was a safe play to say Kaz was running back to the Slat. You don’t catch an animal when it’s running, you wait for it to get tired before moving.

 

Besides, they needed backup first.

 

• • •

 

The people of the Government District payed little mind to Wyland and Jesper knocking upon the familiar door. 

 

The house they found themselves at was quaint, but nice. Nothing too fancy, but defiantly not poor. As the door opened, Wyland smiled as he greeted miss Nina Zenik.”Hello Nina. I wish I could say this was a informal visit.”

 

Nina only sighed and shrugged “Well, vacation was nice while it lasted. Fill me in, I’ll get Matthias.” And just like that she was on board. She and Matthias have become a nice constant in their lives. Coming over for drinks and gossip. The couple has taken a break from criminal activities now that their debt to Kaz has been payed off. Similar to what Jesper him did. Pulling them away from their peace made Wyland a tad bit guilty, but Nina would drop anything for family. 

 

Nina and Matthias met them in the living room. Wyland talked out the whole evening, describing how off Kaz was and how scared he looked when leaving. “It was almost like he was almost having-“ he whispered the next part” a panic attack.” Wyland wasn’t one to judge others, but Kaz seemed to always have it together. The other three looked just as surprised, but in the end they devised a plan.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow my writing kinda just crumbled at the end. I’m too sick to keep writing, just take this. 
> 
> I’ll make this a three part because I feel bad not posting anything for so long.
> 
> (Also made Matthias alive! And that’s the only reason Nina would even still be in Ketterdam because King of Scars)

**Author's Note:**

> Might make this into a two part where our raging gays are like ‘TF just happend’
> 
> But for now it’s a one shot.


End file.
